Perfectionism

• Feeling you let people down when you cannot balance your busy work schedule with the demands of family and friends
• Having to finish all your tasks before going to bed
• Being prepared for every event whether at work or home
• Even when you win a case for a client, in your head you go over the things you could have done better
• When you lose a case you feel a complete failure
• You can’t take a break for lunch or rest when you are on an important case
• You blame yourself if things aren’t done just right
• Sometimes you are so afraid of failing that you never get started

Unhealthy perfectionist tendencies are linked to a host of poor wellbeing outcomes including:

• Social isolation
• Frustration
• Worry and rumination (over-thinking)
• Reduced capacity to enjoy experiences
• Depression
• Eating disorders
• Relationship difficulties
• Obsessive-compulsive symptoms
• Reduced rest and relaxation
• Insomnia
• Procrastination
• Persistent sense of failure
• Exhaustion and burnout

• Having standards is great – they motivate us to excel and put our best efforts at work and in our personal lives. As a barrister or clerk, you have been trained to work hard and succeed for your clients and chambers. However, there are times when we relentlessly pursue perfection at any cost, including our health and wellbeing. This continual striving if not kept in check can be debilitating.
• Developing alternative constructive approaches and knowing when you might be tipping over into unhealthy or repetitive thought patterns or behaviours will help maintain a sense of perspective and balance.

We revert to default thinking styles when we are in challenging situations. These often involve self-critical thoughts, assumptions and judgements. This is very typical of unhealthy perfectionism. Examples include;

Catastrophizing: ‘The client will hate me if I am late for this meeting’ or ‘If head of chambers doesn’t give me this he clearly doesn’t trust me to do a good job’

Black and white thinking: Refers to extremes – and no grey areas. ‘If I tell my colleague I am not coping with this workload, she will think I am weak’

Mental filter: Noticing only the errors in a document rather than the vast majority of great work

Magnification and minimisation: Ignoring skills and strengths and assuming there are other explanations that don’t involve you. ‘I was only given this case because no-one else was available to do it’

Try challenging and adapting your thinking style to a more constructive and realistic one. Try adopting a different mind-set about the situation and challenge your deep-set beliefs and rules.

Remember to practice and persist with techniques for managing unhealthy perfectionist thinking and behaviour. It takes time to undo the habits of a lifetime (or a career).

• As you progress, evaluate how you feel and what your levels of performance look like;
• How will you know when you are successful with this new way of operating?
• What will be your personal milestones?
• Has your performance increased, decreased or stayed about the same since you started this new habit?
• What changes in your thinking patterns and behaviour have you noticed?

Research demonstrates that habits have a better chance of sticking when we write them down. Success is also increased when we tell someone we trust and respect of our intentions and ask for their support.

Gradually as you embed new healthier approaches to perfectionism, your wellbeing will start to improve, you will build resilience and improve your performance levels.